Blockers Live Review
(Beginning 50 minutes in)
These were my thoughts while watching Blockers.
I just watched a string of very serious movies. I felt like I needed to watch a movie that I might not necessarily love, in an entirely different genre and style. To kind of recalibrate my movie-watching senses. Balance the critical scales, if you will. A comedy like Blockers – that had gotten marginally decent buzz but still looked kind of dumb – seemed like a decent option. Something more lighthearted to provide a little levity. Plus, I wouldn’t feel bad about trying this “Live Review” format out (think Live Tweeting) with a comedy that I could pause to write, or even just write as the movie plays. (Note: I actually came up with this whole format idea like an hour into it)
So here is what I thought of the movie, as I watched it:
50 minutes in: Kinda seems like this was at least partially a vessel for John Cena, to test out the waters for his eventual move to acting, a la The Rock’s path to movie stardom. Which, if so…I ain’t into it. I know there were many other people involved in the creation of this movie. And every movie means something to somebody. But…..nah. This ain’t for me. Just not that funny. Or worthwhile.
57 minutes in: So it does have some funny parts. But not enough to make me like this movie. The urge is strong to access the second screen (ie, look at my phone).
70 minutes in: They’re going to start that gag, and then not even finish it properly? I don’t even know he he actually grabbed it or not. They cut away before the punchline. Why commit to that type of gag if you’re not even going to go all the way? (Note: trying to be somewhat spoiler-free here, hence the vagueness) (Second Note: after rewinding, still not quite sure, but leaning towards no, which makes me think Cena was against it for personal brand reasons)
75 minutes in: Break for snacks and refreshments.
80 minutes in: John Cena crying again… ;-(
83 minutes in: I do still like Leslie Mann tho.
87 minutes in: Kinda hard to pull off the sympathy card with Ike Barinholtz*. Might not be fair to judge the guy off previous roles. But still. I’ll point out that he is probably the funniest presence in the movie. Which isn’t saying a ton. But it’s…saying something….right?
*I had to look up his name after the fact.
89 minutes in: So is there some kind of previous connection between Leslie and John’s characters? I don’t think I caught that earlier if so. Poor construction
90 minutes in: DJ Chad singing Love Myself lol
95 minutes in: An anticipated sentimental ending, with a fun twist.
Well, that was ultimately what I expected it to be. Look, it’s not a terrible movie. But it’s not a good movie either. It’s a movie. That’s what it is. It’s a comedy movie.
2.5 out of 5 stars